After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
