for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize