I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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