Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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