She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize