first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Randomize
