My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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