spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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