As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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