Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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