hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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