Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Tell her she can't have a vagina
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he was CRYING into my vagina
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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