i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
