you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
