My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
