Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize