Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
