I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
