when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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