New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
