he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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