ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
