Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
