Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
