Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
