I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
