Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize