and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
