420 ftw
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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