EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
