its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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