i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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