Her vagina should come with caution tape.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
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I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
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they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.