First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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