I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
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Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
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the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.