I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
