True but thats because hes a fetus.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
