he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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