hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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