If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
