Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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