Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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