I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How does one acquire holy water?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
