I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
