Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
