first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
