Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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