Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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