No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.