Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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