whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
