the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
