high people should be assigned attendants
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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