They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
