We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
