He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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