You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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