So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize