I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
