This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...