I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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