Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
