and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
