theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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