I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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